Poetry by Brady's Mom | bradyleekansas

Brady & Me

I sit alone and think
Of how it used to be
Going through my days
Just Brady and me

He would get into everything
From the moment he opened his eyes
Sometimes I'd get so angry
Sometimes I even cried

No matter what he did
Even when it seemed so bad
He'd make a funny face at me
And I knew that I'd been had

He had me wrapped around his finger
Oh this he knew was true
He knew how to get away with things
That most wouldn't let him do

There is a very special bond
Between a mother and her son
There's nothing she won't give him
Her work is never done

Now I sit alone and think
Of how I miss him so
My pain is all too real
I didn't want him to go

I want my baby boy again
Back in my arms to hold
The pain I feel is killing me
My heart is getting cold

I Know You Have A Plan

I've read about Your Kingdom
And what You have in store
For each of us on this earth
You love us ever more

This world seems so cruel
I know You have a plan
God will my pain and suffereing
Ever come to an end?

I miss my only son
You took him way too soon
I wasn't ready God
To face this sort of doom

I want my baby back
But I know what's done is done
You have a plan for each of us
For You too gave Your Son

I know You know my pain
And You'll help me make it through
But God sometimes I'm just not sure
Why You do the things You do

I guess I'm just mere human
And it's not for me to understand
I'll just have to keep believing
Knowing You have a plan

My mind is making me crazy
Trying to figure it all out
God please give me strength
To believe without a doubt

You are good and You are fair
I've read this again and again
I hear the words You tell me
I've been washed of all my sin

God help me make it through this
For I know you have a plan
And I know the day will come
When I will be with Brady again

No One Understands

No one understands
The incredible pain I feel
No one understands
That I will never heal

No one understands
This hurt won't go away
No one understands
This pain is here to stay

No one understands
The thoughts I think each day
No one understands
There's nothing they can say

No one understands
A part of me is now gone
No one understands
My days are so very long

No one understands
Nothing can fix my broken heart
No one understands
The pain that tears me apart

No one understands
I need Brady here wtih me
No one understands
Brady's who I need to see

No one understands
My soul's crying from inside
No one understands
A piece of my heart has died

No one understands
The price I pay for love
No one understands
Except God in Heaven above

Talking to God

I want to understand Your way
I demanded strong and firm
I want to know what lessons
I was sent to this earth to learn

I can not tell you this
Oh sweet child of mine
You will know all of your answers
At just the perfect time

I don't understand this God
I want my baby here
He took a breath, cleared his throat
And then I saw a tear

You must put your faith in me
In everything that you do
Many, many years ago
I lost a son once too

I know this God, I read the book
Although I'm not quite through
I feel so confused and lonely God
My days with Brady were too few

I know it's all so confusing
But I'm here to hold your hand
I'm here to walk you through this
And to help you understand

I don't know how to be strong
Please tell me how to fight
Satan is pulling hard at me
Morning, noon, and night

You must look inside your heart
For that's where Brady and I stay
Please let us remain with you
To help you along your way

God I feel so lost in this world
Without Brady by my side
Since you took him from me
All I've done is cry

I know you love him Tammy
You love him with all your heart
But I have a special plan for you
During this time that you're apart

How can I be the person that I am
Without Brady next to me
How do I go on without him
When it's him I NEED to see

Having Brady as your son
Made you who you are today
You are the same person as before
Brady's in yur heart to stay

I want to see him God
I want to hold him tight
All I do is think about him
I cry for him each night

I see your tears, for I cry too
His work on earth was done
We watch over you each day
Until it's your turn to come

I ask you to keep me close
God I need you by my side
Help me stay under your wing
Please lift me when I cry

I will promise this to you
As long as you keep me near
I will be right there to lift you
With Me you'll have no fear

Thank you God for all that you do
From the bottom of my heart
You are good and wonderful
And have been from the start

I must go tend to him now
For he keeps me on the go
But know until you meet again
He loves his mommy so

Dear God

A precious gift You gave me
Was taken away too fast
What have I done to deserve this?
Were the very words I asked

I wasn't done with him yet God
This all seems so mean and cruel
I'll never see my baby grow up
And never take him to school

There are so many emotions
Running through my head
There have been many days
That I wished it was me instead

I don't know how to go on
Each day is such a struggle
My body aches for my baby
To be in my arms to cuddle

My world stopped turning
The day that Brady died
Why God did you do this?
Why do you make me cry?

I'll be with him again one day
Is what they all keep saying
But how God do I keep living on
Without being able to watch him playing?

I know they say you have a plan
And when my time comes I'll know
But how God do I keep going on
When not having Brady hurts me so?

I prayed to You each night
To bless and protect my family
What have I done so wrong
That You just didn't hear me?

I ask you Lord to help me
Deal with what I've lost
Help me see you have a plan
No matter what the cost

I pray Lord you will walk with me
And you will hold Brady's little hand
Please Lord keep him by Your side
Until his mama's with him again

Brady's Mom

The intense pain she feels
Is more than she will show
She will put a smile on
So no one else will know

She always covers her emotions
Puts on a face for others to see
Her heart inside is breaking
She's crying to be set free

This pain is too much for her
To handle day by day
She cries inside every minute
She pushes everyone away

She can't let anyone close
For no one can understand
Her heart is dying slowly
Her life is in God's hands

She cries out to God
She feels so alone each day
Why God did you do this?
Why did you take my baby away?

She fights to know what lessons
God has for her in store
There is a hole in her heart now
She can bare the hurt no more

She wants her pain to end
Living life she now fears
She doesn't want to go on
She can't stop all the tears

One More Day

One more day is all I need
To hold my baby tight
One more day is all I need
To help me see the light

One more day is all I need
To kiss my baby again
One more day is all I need
To tell him how much I love him

One more day is all I need
To help my heart to heal
One more day is all I need
To know that God is real

One more day is all I need
To spend with my baby son
One more day is all I need
To understand his work was done

One more day is all I need
To get me through this grief
One more day is all I need
To know why his life was brief

One more day is all I need
To make my heart smile
One more day is all I need
To help me through this trial

One more day is all I need
To kiss my baby good-bye
One more day is all I need
To believe we'll meet in the sky

One more day is all I need
To get me closer to You
One more day is all I need
To accept the things You do

One more day is all I need
One more day is all I need

Inside Heaven's Door

There once was a sweet little boy
Who was just inside Heaven's door
He wondered if those wings of his
Would really let him soar

He waited for the moment
When the gates were open wide
He ran as fast as he could
And jumped to the other side

He landed in the arms
Of his new mom and dad
They wanted him so much
A little boy they now had

There was more love for him
Than he thought could ever be
He was such a special little boy
To his new mom and daddy

Then the very sad day came
When God called him back Home
His parents didn't want him to go
Since he left they've felt so alone

How could this be happening?
They say every day since then
Why did God take him back?
Life is not the same without him

Now there's a sweet little boy
Who is just inside Heaven's door
Watching over his mom and dad
Knowing they love him ever more

Tell me How

How do I make it through this?
How do I understand this plan?
How do I stop this terrible hurting?
How do I get on my feet and stand?

I talk to God every chance I get
I pray for Him to show me the way
I ask many questions of Him
And I know I heard Him say

My child you must live your life
For Brady is with me now
In my Great Kingdom up above
If you listen I will tell you how

He cleared his throat and spoke to me
He said you must grieve no more
You must raise your other children
Brady is with me, just inside Heaven's door

No harm will come to him
This promise I make to you
And when your day comes
Brady will be there to help you through

Brady's time on earth was done
Then I think I heard Him sigh
I can not tell you the plan I have
I can not tell you why

You must be strong though this is hard
You must put your trust in me
You must hold your head up high
Knowing one day you will see

You have so much more in store
For your life on this earth
I will help you fight the devil
And fight the evil of his work

Come to me I heard him say
You are what I have made you
Come to me he said again
I'll help you make it through

Give your life to me he said
I am the way you need to turn
I will help you understand and
Show the lessons you must learn

I will show you that physical life
Is so not at all the end
I will show you the things you'll see
When the angels for you I'll send

Brady is here with me now
He will never again know pain
He will be here with me waiting
Until it's time to see his mama again

Happy Birthday Brady

I'm wishing you Happy Birthday baby

Today you would be turning three
You're celebrating with Jesus this year
Oh how I wish you were here with me

I want to make you a birthday cake
And have a great big party too
I want to hold you and kiss your face
And tell you how much I love you

Remember that train I got you last year
It's still upstairs in your room
I'd give anything to hear you playing with it
God took you away too soon

Remember how you'd sit there playing
Watching the train go round and round
I can still see your surprised little face
Every time the whistle would sound

Remember when your sisters would come
And sit with you while you played
And every time they'd try to touch it
You'd yell at them to go away

Remember that great big truck
Uncle Kansas bought for you
And how once you got the hang of it
You loved to play with it too

Remember how you'd ride it
Up and down the driveway
And how you'd run me over
Whenever I got in your way

I miss all of this so much Brady
It seems like just yesterday
We were doing all of these things
I didn't know you weren't here to stay

I still pray for God to guide me
And to help me along my way
We will celebrate again sweet baby
When I come Home with you to stay
I love you Brady.
Love,
Mama

Dear Jesus

I just need to say a few words
To thank You for what You've done
You've carried me and lifted me up
Since the day I lost my son

You've made me promises You will keep
The Bible tells me this is true
I'll see my son again one day
When my work on earth is through

You hear my prayers I pray each night
You are with me when I cry
You've counted every single tear
That has fallen from my eyes

I'm doing my best to make You proud
I'll finish what needs to be done
I'm keeping my faith in You dear God
And in Jesus, Your only son

I could not make it through this
On just my strength alone
I know You'll be with me every day
Until You're ready to bring me Home.

Happy Father's Day Daddy

I'm wishing you Happy Father's Day
From Heaven this year Dad
When you get down please remember
All the fun times that we had

I know that this is hard for you
You've been so very strong
But Daddy we'll be together again
Though the road seems so long

I know it's not the same without me
And you miss me very much
Even though I've gone to Heaven
If you're still, you'll feel my touch

You are the greatest Dad there is
And I will always be your son
In a blink of an eye you will be here
And we'll be having so much fun

We will be able to do all the things
That we didn't get to do
We will run and play and laugh
And hit some baseballs too

On the day that you come home
And see Jesus face to face
You'll be with me again Dad
Heaven's really a beautiful place

I will be at the gates with Jesus
He will say "your work on earth is done"
And then He'll step aside and say
"Here's Brady your only son"

I LOVE YOU DADDY!